Why be interested in BDSM?

BDSM is a group of notions referring to erotic and sexual practices. If their origins go back at least to the Antiquity, the acronym appeared only in 1991. It is composed of :

• Bondage, meaning the act of tying up one's partner;
• Discipline, imposing obedience to pre-established rules under penalty of punishment;
• Domination and submission to one's partner;
• Sadism and masochism for SM, i.e. the pleasure of inflicting and experiencing pain.

Numerous accessories of various uses have since been created and allow beginners as well as the more experienced to explore their limits. For example, tying and immobilization allow to abandon oneself to the other and to entrust one's body to him in all confidence during a session.

The games of domination and punishment offer a moment of loss of control both physically and psychologically, reflecting a healthy and legitimate need but difficult to implement in everyday life.

By slipping into the skin of an S&M character, you will learn to manage the responsibility of a submissive at your mercy, to take care of his body and his mind. By creating such a bond of trust, complicity and respect with your partner, you will both grow.

Rejecting the weight of social conventions, BDSM practitioners put mutual trust, consent and self-acceptance at the center of their lifestyle.

Being interested in BDSM accessories underlines a great open-mindedness and a healthy and benevolent curiosity. Inviting to indulge in unadulterated pleasure, this activity also has unsuspected beneficial effects on mental health and stress.

Some psychologists suggest that the pleasure of self-abandonment goes back to the beginning of our existence, when we were completely subject to the will of our parents without any power of decision or action.

The success of the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy has had the merit of de-dramatizing SM and BDSM practices for the general public and of addressing some of its pillars, by materializing, for example, the contract of consent. It is now allowed, in the collective mind, to indulge in much more varied games without fearing any external judgment.

To dominate or be dominated, to tie up, to hang, to caress, to whip, to blind... Everything is possible, from the most harmless duster to the complete constraint kit: it's up to you to set your own rules, the only condition being mutual consent.

What are the main contrition accessories?

The many ranges ofBDSM accessories are aimed at those curious about erotic exploration to meet their desires. Candles, feathers, lubricants, sex toys, clothing, lingerie, restraint and suspension kits, there is something for everyone. It's up to you to determine what appeals to you, what intrigues you, and what for now intimidates you. Physical contrition allows a true liberation of the body and mind. Several bondage tools exist to immobilize your partner, from a pair of discreet handcuffs to a full restraint kit.

• The handcuffs are among the most widespread BDSM accessories. This subtle basic of bondage allows to limit the gestures of your partner, thus refusing him to return your caresses. The sensations are then multiplied tenfold, both for the person tied and for the one who holds the power. The models vary between silk, fake leather, velvet, links with metal spikes ..
  
  

• The suspension handcuffs are interesting to combine with e.g. cross handcuffs. Ankles and wrists are tied together with a strap to be worn behind the back. A harness or a BDSM collar is a perfect match. The whole is often connected to a complete restraint kit to immobilize his partner.
  
  

• The bed cuffs are a good compromise for bed owners without bars to tie themselves to. It is a set of ankle and wrist cuffs with long bands to be placed under the mattress. The immobilized person is on the bed, arms and legs spread, totally at your mercy.
  
  

• The chains and carabiners propose to push back the limits of the exploration to two by attaching you in a more muscular way. Ideal to link your handcuffs, collars and other leashes during SM and fetish games.
  
  

• The spreader bars were also popularized by 50 Shades of Grey, so much so that the model of the movie was quickly sold out in England. This accessory, once fixed to the ankles, keeps the legs apart and prevents from moving or standing up. Depending on the model, it is possible to attach handcuffs, to widen or to tighten your spreader bar to adapt it to your projects.
  
  

• Shibari consists in tying up your partner, thus depriving him of his freedom for erotic or aesthetic purposes. A true art from Japan, it is practiced with the help of ropes adapted.
  
  

The kits of constraint and suspension can be interesting to explore your desires together. Accessories usually included in restraint kits are handcuffs and ankle ties, nipple clamps, a rope and whip, a collar and leash, a gag and mask, a fag and a duster.

The excitement of being tied up is quite common, and SM and BDSM practices vary in intensity. Handcuffs and ankle bracelets, spreader bars, chain ties and carabiners are tools now known to the general public, but some variants require more physical and mental preparation. Suspension bondage, constraint kits on Saint Andrew's crosses, tight corsets or even mummification are aimed at a well-informed and perfectly consenting public. There is no obligation to arrive at such practices by initiating yourself to BDSM accessories, only your desires should guide you. A written or oral contract should be established beforehand to ensure both the safety and well-being of both partners. It is important to discuss what you want to try and what you do not want to try. Also take the time to choose a "safe word" to say to end the game if necessary. BDSM is not a quest for pain and humiliation, but simply the art of approaching your limits without ever going beyond them.

What is shibari?

Shibari (also called kinbaku) is a Japanese bondage art. If it is nowadays an erotic game, the Samurais used it on their prisoners to immobilize them while treating them with respect. To practice it and make beautiful knots, patience, imagination and pleasure are essential.

For what reasons to initiate to the shibari.

Art and eroticism come together in bondage and suspension works that sublimate naked bodies in sometimes impressive ways. The excitement caused by the uncomfortable positions and the associated sexual pressure points have won over many followers. The imagination soars with the sensation of ropes against skin and hard knots against soft curves. The mental stimulation of the knotter and the passivity of the person being tied provide an incomparable relaxation, much appreciated by enthusiasts.

Which ropes to choose?

Check the ropes of the constraint and suspension kits before using them. Cotton ropes are very soft and suitable for soft bondage but not for suspension, while hemp, linen or jute ropes are specially treated for BDSM. Hemp can be rough and abrasive at first, but jute is softer and linen feels better. Avoid nylon, twine, craft or climbing ropes, which are completely unsuitable for suspension and can be dangerous. Always choose a quality restraint kit to ensure your safety.

The care of your ropes depends on your preferences. Washing them alters their quality, especially for jute: rub them vigorously after cleaning. Also consider burning your ropes with a flame before feeding them with coconut or sweet almond oil, then wipe them with a cloth. Check your tools for defects before each shibari session. A worn suspension rope can break, so consider putting it away. Neglecting safety is not only dangerous, it is also disrespectful and can cause you to lose your partner's trust.

How do I start shibari?

If buying a restraint kit is the first step, taking professionally supervised classes will allow you to start with a solid foundation. You will learn about the different types of knots and their functions, the basics of human anatomy and pressure points, and the potential dangers. These courses are offered in many major cities, so you will probably find one near you. Communication is key to limiting risks. Even if you're just starting out, there's no need to get into complicated setups - your knots should simply be safe and comfortable. Invest in a quality suspension kit, and always have a pair of special bondage scissors on hand in case you need them.